Yesterday was a good day. I validated my NaNoWriMo novel and I received a debit card in the mail from the state of Indiana, with a blissful amount of money (compared to the $20 I had left, anyway). I can buy cat food and pay bills now.

Today I found out the unethical asshats at my former employer Sysco Foodservices have appealed the decision the state made in my favor. I should not be surprised, but I confess, I thought they would prefer to pay the unemployment rather than face a lawsuit or a formal charge of violating FMLA. Unfortunately they seem to think their moral gray area will win, and in the world of big business and money running things, I suppose it will.

I'm planning to spend the unemployment cash I already have as quickly as possible. If nothing else, I'd rather have the state collections people calling me rather than three credit cards and two medical places. It has to mean fewer annoying phone calls, right?

*sigh*

Anyway. I have a telephone hearing on December 13, and wow, way to prolong this even further, powers that be. I have no idea how to handle that. The instructions from the state are barely helpful, and I'm not even sure what information I need to provide the judge.

I'm so overwhelmed at the moment. I spent nearly four years working for a company that mistreats people as a matter of policy. I spent the last four months of that time suffering from debilitating migraines and crippling depression related to both the migraines and the toxic work situation. Migraines that STOPPED ENTIRELY when I left that job. I have run through my bank account and am probably going to have to cash out my meager 401(k) to continue paying bills. I can't find a job. I can't bear the thought of going back to seasonal retail. And on top of everything, I'm sure my dad won't react well to this news, which will make his work situation worse. I have a heart full of vile things I want to say to Connie, who claimed to be my friend but proved herself not to be.

I am currently modeling my prayers after those of David, persecuted in the wilderness, who said, "O God, do not be far from me; O my God, hasten to my help! Let those who are adversaries of my soul be ashamed and consumed; Let them be covered with reproach and dishonor, who seek to injure me. But as for me, I will hope continually, And will praise You yet more and more." (Psalm 71:12-14).

And honestly, right now those prayers aren't doing much for my emotional or mental state. I just want to immerse myself in Warcraft all afternoon and not think about anything.